Motherhood is changing.
Motherhood flipped our lives upside down.? Who we thought we were isn?t who we find ourselves to be today.? Priorities shifted, desires changed. We find ourselves on unstable ground.? And now we search for a way to give voice to this tectonic shift.? Ways to name what has happened to us, and ways to share our story with others.? We yearn for connection, confirmation, comfort.? And as we search for a path forward, a way through this uncharted land, we discover that the definition of motherhood that we?ve inherited from our mothers doesn?t fit our experience.? The words catch in our throats, and we feel isolated.
Our mothers blazed so many trails for us.? Because of them, we could grow up to be whatever we wanted, we could marry whomever we wanted, or not.? They worked and fought and sacrificed to give us these gifts.? And yet, these freedoms don?t carry over to our role as mothers.? For as my oldest friend said, ?At the end of the day, I?m still the one with the boobs.?
There is no guidebook to maintaining our sense of self while confidently growing into and taking on all that motherhood requires of us.? There is no roadmap to navigate the paradoxical position in which we find ourselves. The fortunately/unfortunately of having another living being completely dependent on you and the complete clarity and confusion that this responsibility brings.
And while this shift spins us around to be sure, it is also a renewed opportunity.? For we are on a threshold.? As smart, thoughtful women choosing to create meaningful lives, we are perfectly poised to chart our own course.? We can choose to redefine ourselves, and what we want motherhood to look like.? If we want to be a part of the conversation?
And this is a conversation I want to be having.? This is a conversation I want to be having with you.? We need to talk about this stuff.? We need to be able to celebrate the great joys of motherhood, and we need a safe space to give voice to the stuff that hurts without fear or judgment.?? Some days we need to say how much it sucks to be a mother and have that be ok without guilt or apology.? Some days we need to dance a wild crazy happy dance that the pee pee made it into the potty and have a community who truly understands what a celebration that is.
So, as we move forward together, The Still Space will become a piece of this larger conversation.? This larger conversation called Making Motherhood.
And in this conversation, your voice, your story matters.
I have heard you say how alone you feel, how isolated. ?I?ve heard you say that you?re afraid you?re the only one who?s had moments when you question your sanity and wonder why you ever wanted to be a mom in the first place.? And then you add flame to the fire and pile on the guilt.
But one thing has crystallized for me. ?You are not alone. ?I am not alone.? Our stories matter.? The experiences of our individual and completely unique lives also tie us to a deeper universal experience of motherhood.? And it?s shockingly important that you know that.? Others have felt those very same moments of joy and pain.? And what?s more, they need to hear that you have too.
Our stories build bridges between us.
We want to hear the story of how you created your family and what it?s been like for you so far.? We yearn to hear how you have grown, changed, struggled, and overcome, or not.? We need to hear the stories of how you screamed a string of cuss words after one too many demands for the goddamn apple juice that you were already getting goddamnit, and the stories of how you tenderly eased your child?s fear of thunder, at least for that one night.
Your story is my story is our story.? And in this we see all the perfectly imperfect sticky, messy, sparkly beauty of our lives reflected back to us as affirmation and comfort, assurance and support.
So as the first project of Making Motherhood, I invite you to join me in sharing your story as a part of Voices of Motherhood?a community art piece woven together from your stories.
Let?s work together to include as many women, as many voices in this project as we can.? New moms and veteran moms, adoptive moms, foster moms, step moms, bonus moms, straight moms, gay moms, moms who work at home, stay at home, work out of the house.? If you have ever cared for a child, I want to hear your story in all its crumbly, chaotic, blissful, confusing realness.
Most importantly, I want you to be a part of this community.??Click here to add your ?email address so you can be a part of the conversation.? The first email you receive will have information about our first community project.? You will also receive advanced notice of any up coming projects, classes and creations.
Yes, I?d like to be part of the conversation.
The more voices we have, the more stories we hear and share, the deeper and more multifaceted our experience will be. ?So please invite all the smart, thoughtful mothers you know to join us. ?
?The simplest way to begin finding each other again is to start talking about what we care about.? ?Margaret J. Wheatley
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Source: http://thestillspace.com/making-motherhood/
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